Discipline

Discipline in the classroom is becoming harder and harder the longer I teach. I believe there are many different factors that contribute to this rising problem.

Factor #1 - Parents are so busy trying to make ends meet that by the time they get home exhaustion has set in for the night. Trust me there were nights when I sat staring at the clock just waiting for it to strike 8:30 the best time of the day BEDTIME!

Factor #2 - Technology is wonderful but I believe it is also harming our children when tight controls aren't set. Kids are having trouble communicating with their parents and with other children. I can tell this in my 1st grade classroom. When a problem arises between friends they aren't able to work it out with their words (or at least acceptable ones). Communication is becoming a lost art. A prime example is the other night while laying in bed I receive a text from my daughter who is one room down from mine. All she wanted to know was when to set her alarm clock. Being the kind, passionate and considerate (ha, ha)  mother I am I made her get out of bed and come ask me face to face. Notice in public when a teenager's phone rings the look on their face. They don't even know how to properly answer a phone call. YIKES!

Factor #3 - Microwave society! I know that's a rather old term but our society is getting more and more "convenient". We are so used to getting what we want when we want it. I'm getting quiet used to this myself. It is like that song by Miranda Lambert - Automatic. I love that song and every time I hear it I think about whether our children know how to work hard for something they really want.  I mean do they know how to work hard at a job, homework assignment, birthday present for a friend, spot on a sports team or work at a task that they don't particular like. Do our kids have a good work ethic.

Factor #4 - Due to the guilt ridden parents that feel like they don't have the time to spend with their children sometimes it is easier to make the few hours we have with our children to just make them happy rather than stir the pot through discipline or having those hard discussions. I'm currently participating in a Bible study about Gideon. This week we learned that when we don't obey God fully we will suffer consequences and generations to come might be suffering from some of our poor decisions. I think there are a lot of Christians are do partial obedience very well but God wants us to have full obedience to Him with the easy and the hard things in life. This makes me think about our children today as parents. Will they have the communication skills, social exposure and willingness to work hard for an outcome to be able to raise children in our fallen world?

Manners

I was recently discussing manners of children with some of my friends. As a teacher, I teach a unit on manners every year. As a mom, I teach a lesson on manners daily! :) It doesn't matter how old my children get there always seems to be something new to teach them. As a church member,  I've taught adults how to teach their children manners. So, you would think it would come naturally to me. I think manners is something that our society is losing as a whole. Now, I'm not sure if this is from lack of teaching, lack of patience or lack of concern for others. Here are some of the things I have done with my kids.

1) I cooked one meal for them growing up. Now I usually made a meat and three with a dessert. I didn't demand them to eat or beg them to eat. If they didn't eat no dessert or any other food until breakfast.  A child won't starve themselves when food is offered on a regular basis. They had to be asked to be excused from the table. If they got up without permission their food went in the trash and they had to wait for breakfast. (This only happened a few times then lesson learned.)  My intention in this thought was to teach them to eat instead of eat all day long on junk. They were offered three meals a day with healthy snacks in between meals.  I also wanted them to be able to go over a friends house without a special meal needing to be prepared for them. We also go around the table and everyone gives their high/lo of the day. The best thing that happened that day and the worst thing that happened that day. This has opened up so many different discussions.

2) A fight with a sibling doesn't call for everyone going to separate rooms, I create situations where they had to stay together. Just the other day, my oldest and youngest got into several fights in a short period of time. I sent them to the grocery store together with a list of about 40 things to purchase. Of course, I wrote these down in random order so they had to go down every aisle several times. They then had to sleep on the couch together for the night. Before long they were laughing. My intention or thought behind this type of lesson is throughout life you will come into contact with people whom you will have to get along with and won't always get your way. Many aspects of life are created through compromise. 

3) Saying please, thank you, yes ma'am and no ma'am! I realize this is so very hard to keep track of on a daily basis but we try. I want my children to always treat others with kindness whether the other person deserves it or not. Every day before they leave for school. I say some of these phrases and/or statements. Have the best day of your life. Make good choices. KTWK (Kill Them with Kindness) Do your best and try hard. Complete every task as if you are completing for Christ. 

As I reflect on my years of teaching, I think about how things have changed among the kids and among the parents. Here are some of the changes I have seen:

1) Parents don't necessarily believe the teacher when their child has misbehaved. What all parents and teachers need to understand is that children are given to us as a gift from God. It is our job and privilege to train them. ALL children will lie, steal and cheat. It is a natural process in growing up. Children need to be lovingly and continually taught  right from wrong. One of my dear friends reminded me of this from a conversation we had last night, if you can gently remind a child at the moment of getting trouble what their heart feels like.  You can change their future behavior and their heart a little at a time. God has given us the amazing opportunity of molding this child. A child who grows up in a loving Christian home but still misbehaves isn't a reflection of their parents. Some of those little ones that have a strong personality and likes to test their limits will grow up to be very successful adults and a man/woman of God.

2) Children think it is their right to be entertained 24 hours a day. Our society is raising up children who can't self satisfy themselves. They don't like to be by themselves without an electronic device.  Children like to stay busy and while this is wonderful for them they also need to learn to have a quiet time with God daily and fall in love with themselves. Children and adults who enjoy being alone tend to be more successful in school and workplace. This build self confidence and self esteem. God created us all uniquely for His purpose.

3)  Parents feel guilty if their child forgets an item or didn't study for a test. This is also a learning process. Parents and teachers need to make sure their child takes ownership of all mistakes. Even a first graders needs to take responsibility for their actions. Putting a folder, lunch box and library book in their back pack everyday is not too much to ask. Start small and build up.

4) Reading a good book is good for boys and girls alike. Reading a good book builds vocabulary, comprehension and word recognition.  Read daily. Children should be read to daily until at least the age of 11.

5) Pets in the home teach responsibility and a sense of ownership in every child. While a pet is a lot of work, the growing that takes place within your child is amazing. A fish aquarium is great for a child with anxiety.